Gratitude - March 4, 2013

It is still very strange to consider myself a writer.  I think I’ve secretly always wanted to be a writer on some level.  In elementary school I loved creating books in class.  I kept a diary starting in third grade through fifth grade (which is hilarious to read now) and one again my senior year (which is not so funny to read now.)  (Side note:  I kept the diary my senior year while I was preparing for my role as Anne in the play “The Diary of Anne Frank.”  I thought I was really doing some method acting by keeping a diary, but it was more like therapy as I was sorting through the typical high school boy drama.)  In eighth grade I wrote a story about a swan that was about ten pages long (which is long by eighth grade standards) that I thought  was “sooooo good” but now looking back on it, I think it’s kind of a knock off of “The Trumpet of the Swan.”  Anyway…  Now that I’ve had the amazing opportunity to publish my own book and actually become an “author” I have found that I’m sort of re-inventing myself.  I used to define myself as a teacher.  For six years that’s what I was and what I wanted to be since I was five years old.  Then I had a new role:  Mom.  And although this role is the most important I’ve ever had, it took me awhile to figure out how to be a mom and still be me, since being a mom requires ultimate selflessness.  But now that have this this new role as “writer” or “author” I have found that it satisfies the part of me that needs a creative and intellectual outlet (not that Jedi mind tricks with a three-year old and an eighteen month old aren’t mentally  challenging and exhausting,) yet it allows me to still be at home with them.  And I think I’ve learned to appreciate my time with my girls much more now that I’m also taking care of my needs as well.  It’s hard to give and give without refueling and writing is my way of refueling.

Writing has also connected me with the community, which is something that I wanted to do, but wasn’t sure where to start.  In high school I had school projects that kept me involved as well as community theatre.  College provided opportunities as well that were easy to fit into my class schedule.  While teaching I was the student council advisor, so I made sure we did community projects (best parade floats ever!) and it was relatively easy since I didn’t have kids yet.  But now it’s hard to do anything with kids – getting them dressed is a chore, let alone being involved in things that require commitments outside of the home, yet through writing I have been able to slowly wade into the community pool (ok, that’s a strange metaphor) and can be as involved as I am able.   I have been so blessed to connect with so many people.  I’ve met other authors, artists, and members of the community.  I have been featured on blogs and done give-aways that have spread my story to parts of the country that I couldn’t reach on my own.  I’ve met lovely people who support and encourage me and are happy for my success.  I am so grateful for this time in my life right now and I just wanted to say thanks.  Thanks to you, the readers of this silly little blog, which doesn’t really provide any deep insight or advice (except for how to make cake mix cookies.)  I am grateful for the encouraging words and comments which let me know that people are actually reading this!  J  I hope to continue to improve and grow as a writer – and as a community member, friend, wife, and mother and I look forward to sharing this journey with you.